Still on the journey to acceptance

Forward Note: It's been a few weeks since I've blogged. Unfortunately, it's report writing season for us Speech-Language Pathologists. My head is spinning with I.EP goals, and summer recommendations. I'm not finished, but I'm well on the way! Whoo hoo! Anywho, so much has happened since my last blog post. For those of you who are new to my blogosphere, my last post was from my amazing hubby! He's super social media shy, and it took weeks to convince him to share his heart with the world. Since our Dilly's Autism diagnosis, he has had his own struggles on his road to acceptance. The support from all of you was more than I could have ever anticipated! It was quite overwhelming for my hubby. Although he had on his poker face, I know he felt relief, and acceptance. I don't think the dad's perspective on Autism is prominent enough. I was so happy to read that many of my readers shared his post with their husbands. It's amazing, and fingers crossed that we can convince my hubby to continue blogging. As always, here are the ways you can reach out to me:
email: maynard1280@gmail.com
IG: shaymaydoug
Facebook: Sharon Maynard-Douglas

He loves the carousel!

After reading my hubby's blog, I became inspired. His raw honesty was refreshing, and terrifying. Terrifying because it kind of forces you to become honest with yourself about how you're feeling about your particular journey with Autism. I think for me, I've tried so hard to be okay with the cards that have been dealt. However, some days are just hard. Some days I have to wonder why I had to get the kid that requires so much of me. It seems since Dilly's diagnosis, all of his symptoms have become magnified. All of a sudden, everything he does is a product of Autism. It's a tough pill to swallow because this time last year, he was just another bratty 2 year old. Now, it's like we've had to change so much of what we do, and how we do in order to accommodate Dilly. Planning vacations, day trips, even day to day errands require research, and strategic planning. We always have to consider his sensory limitations. We have to make sure we visit places at a time when there aren't many people around. We can't go to small, enclosed spaces. Restaurants can't be too bright or loud. All the while, making sure our oldest son feels loved, and supported as well. Since his diagnosis, we've had to put majority of our focus on Dill. We've been going back and forth with the CPSE, fighting for services he's already been approved for. Trying to find an ABA therapist, who understands child development. One of the hardest pills to swallow is realizing your son is in a school where he doesn't belong. It seems every week, there is a new obstacle at school that he needs to overcome. Most recently, it has been his inability to sleep during naptime. I read an article about how a lack of sleep for children with autism causes aggressive behaviors. It's so hard to hear the seemingly insane behaviors my son exhibits at school. Sometimes you just gotta laugh! I mean, he does some insane things! lol. Other times, I don't know what to say. Dilly is in a private general education school. He has a SEIT (SPed teacher) who comes everyday to work with him. However, he spends the majority of his school day in a general education setting. The teachers and staff aren't trained to work with children with special needs. I feel terrible because they have to deal with Dilly, and 11 other 2-3 year olds. Sometimes when I pick him up, they look exhausted. I know everyone there loves him, but it doesn't make their day any easier. I'm so happy that he will be starting his new school in July. This awesome school is a language enriched 12:1 classroom setting. I know he will do amazing there. 

I love my cocoa babies! #lifewithdill and #darichronicles

                                               Dilly didn't enjoy his 3 year old photo shoot


Sometimes I forget that he was only diagnosed 2 months ago. He's still so young, but it feels like we have been through so much! I'm exhausted just thinking about it. Our whole family is just trying to cope with all of his special needs. It kind of feels like a new "quirk" pops up every 2 weeks or so. When we took Dilly to the indoor water park a few weeks ago, even I didn't think his reaction would be so strong. I knew it wouldn't be a walk in the park (because what is?) A huge part of me was hoping that I was overreacting, and he would have an amazing time. To see him screaming was heartbreaking. This time last year, he was jumping into pools (without fear, or an ability to swim) and giving me a heart attack. This year, it's like he's a different kid. His developmental regression is shocking. I know this is typical, but any parent with a child on the spectrum will tell you that it's something you never completely get over. 

We love walking to the promenade

All smiles after Daddy and Me gymnastics

I would be lying if I didn't admit that a part of me still hopes that he will grow out of it. Of course, Autism isn't something that you grow out of. I know this professionally, and personally. I also wish I could have a typical conversation with him. I wish his first communication instinct wasn't to scream. I wish I could take him places without having to map out quick exit plans. I wish he didn't repeat phrases over and over and over. Still, I am realizing that these are all things that make him the au-some kid he is. There's just something about Dill. You have to meet him to understand. It is impossible to not fall in love with him. He's so amazing. To think, he has to work 3x as hard to reach his milestones. When he finally reaches one, it brings me to tears. Recently, he finally began referring to himself in the first person. I couldn't believe it! Something I never gave a second thought to with my oldest son. Writing these blogs has helped me to realize that I am still on my journey of acceptance, and that's okay. 

Weekend Family Fun! We love discovering new places in NY!